3-19-12

Hey Moms,

Sorry I am a day late. We have been stuck in Xela for a while. We didn’t get a p-day this week, bummer. :(  Conte has a herniated disc in his spine so we have been here figuring stuff out for that. We still don’t really know what is going to happen. We were at the doctors for literally the entire day yesterday. We left Chiantla at about 5:30 in the morning and were in doctor’s appointments from about 8 in the morning till about 9 at night. It was so awful ha-ha. We did sneak away though and get some McDonalds though. A big mac has never tasted better. Two big macs actually.… doubled down. Figured it would probably be a long time until I got that again. Wrong. Last night the assistants brought us dinner to our hotel, yep. Big macs. Straight ate three big macs yesterday. Needless to say, by body is not feeling super great today. I don’t know how to even explain it. My stomach feels dirty, and I am pretty sure I am pumping unhealthy amounts of cholesterol through my veins right now.

But yeah, we’re just going to sit here until 1 today because we have interviews at the presidents, and then I have a dentist appointment (uhhh) at 4:30. Because….that tooth that was giving me problems after Dr. Rich ¨fixed¨ it, fell out, so yeah, like half of my molar is gone. Awesome, so stoked to go to a Guate dentist.  Sorry mom, I will probably come home with a metal grill...but since my appointment is not till late in the afternoon, we will have to stay here again tonight in the hotel. Awesome. Also since it is something that I had done to my teeth before my mission, I have to pay for it, so yeah... I am going to need you to refill my debit card for me because I am for sure going to get taken to the cleaners by some dentist here looking at the golden teeth of a gringo.

Other than that I am doing great, I flipping love the mission. Some days are really really tough, super baggy, but other days its like I never want to leave this place. I am going to buy a guitar this week I decided and learn how to play while I am here. Tons of elders do it because they only cost like 500 quetz or like...64 dollars. I bought a calculator watch so I can do the money conversions ha-ha.

So don’t be fooled by the photos books of Guate, this place is straight ugly ha-ha. The landscape is beautiful and all, but architecture doesn’t exist It is just cinder blocks and mud houses, and there is so much garbage everywhere that it makes Shiprock look like paradise. Sorry pops, this place is kind of a dump ha-ha. But I love it, its home now.

I heard we will be able to watch conference live, so that will be sick, holy crap I cant believe it is time to have conference again, that six months was soooooo fast. I remember for October conference I was with Kendra, you met her, and we walked around for like 3 hours trying to find a church building that was broadcasting it because we didn’t want to watch it in our apts. Dang, 6 months, so fast, only four of those and I will be home.

We email in a internet cafe in huehue, its 4 quetz an hour, so like.... 51.2 cents, I sent that jacket of mine home, mostly because I wanted to see how much it costs to send stuff home, if it will get there, and also because I don’t need that jacket, and I look so fresh in it.  It is way too nice to give away to someone here. So  just put that with the rest of my stuff for when I get home. If Alex steals it, I am going to be mad ha-ha. Anyways, I have been prepping a package with stuff for ya'll, so maybe in a week or two I’ll get that off. I bought some touristy stuff and I will send all the different kinds of money and stuff. I found a 5 centavo, it’s like .05 of one quet, like a nickel is to the dollar, so a centavo is worth about...64% of a penny, yeah, nothing ha-ha.

This week was a really good week. We had divisions for a few days because Hales needed a little vacation. So that was really fun. I really like him; we have cambios this week so hopefully he doesn’t get changed out. And then when Conte came back Thursday we went to eat lunch with a member. Oh my gosh moms. Almost died. The lady we went to visit, we were supposed to eat with her a few Saturdays back, and when we went and visited, her mom (the entire family lives together here, like 5 generations in one house) told us that she had left and went to the temple so we didn’t have lunch, so we left. Turns out she had actually been there and the grandma was wrong. So the next day in church she straight machetes us about how she had been cooking all day and it was our fault that we didn’t go inside and check to see if she was there. Like yeah, of course, why would we not do that? Anyways so this week, (like two weeks later) she gets her revenge. So we walk in and sit down and she says ¨Oh Elders, I have a surprise for you! ¨ and she puts this giant bowl in front of me. I am just staring at this 6 inch long, 3 inch wide, cow tongue. Freak, it was the hairiest looking piece of meat you have ever seen ha-ha. Conte gets his plate too and his is just this tiny little piece, like maybe 3 inches long. Suerte. So I am just choking this thing down, so so so hard to eat. Just chewy chewy chewy. People do not use knifes here either, your supposed to eat meat with your hands. All I have is a spoon, and I am trying to cut it into pieces so small that I don’t have to chew, just swallow, because every bite I think I am going to throw up. I get about 3/4 of it down and I am done, just green. On the verge of spewing, but I know I cant leave the food. We always have to clean our plates, and this lady already hates us,  I can’t make her more mad. So I just hit the panic button, absolutely freaking out ha-ha. I start trying to do anything to get this lady out of the room. I asked for a napkin also to try and swipe it with the napkin and slide it into my pocket. She stands up, looks me straight in the eyes, says ¨we don’t have any napkins¨, and is looking at me really weird. So I just say oh thanks, don’t worry about it, and she just up and walks out of the room. I make a break for my backpack on the other side of the room, dead sprint, and tear through my backpack for my...emergency toilet paper, and back to the table. The second I get the meat in my pocket she walks back in with a full on beach towel for me to use ha-ha. Barely made it ha-ha. The dog kept coming up to me and smelling my pocket too. So bad mom, so bad, Conte just about kills himself trying not to die laughing. Then we stand up and are thanking her and stuff but say we have an appointment and we have to go. I am feeling really really green at this point, and she just looks at me, straight in the eyes and says, ¨you know what that was, right¨, and I just kind of like ¨uhh no, but it was really good thank you. ¨ And with just like the dirtiest grin I have ever seen in my life she says, ¨pansa de vaca¨. Freeeeeaaak moms. I thought I was on the verge of throwing up before I knew, now I had about 30 seconds till spew time, it was time to go. Pansa is like... stomach lining. Yeah, ate stomach lining of a cow. Awesome ha-ha. Can’t believe that lady did that, such a dirty move, so low moms, so low. She did it the whole time with just the meanest grin on her face, straight witch. Totally took revenge on me, like no offense lady, if we missed your lunch appointment a month ago, its not my fault. I barely speak Spanish now; I couldn’t speak it then, give me a break ha-ha.

We laugh about it daily though. It was so funny, but in the moment I was sooooo mad. Anyways, in other news, good to hear all is well; the pictures you sent were awesome. Liv looks really old, I like the glasses too. I don’t know why I just have really liked wearing mine here. Maybe its because I have like 10 snakes in Chiantla who whenever they see me they always go ¨¡sht sht canchito con lentes! ¨. Makes me laugh every time. Hopefully the glasses I have will last. I have been trying to use my contacts but it is really dusty here so more than a day or two and my eyes are all scratched. For a care package, just send candy, maybe a tie or two, and creamy jiffy peanut butter. The nutella is heaven, but we can buy that here so you don’t have to send that. And yeah, just some more bug anti itch cream, the bugs aren’t as bad but every now and then I get a few new bites. Dad asked how my shoes are holding up, there doing alright I think. I only wear the dress ones because the boot/shoes things are really really heavy and they make walking around all day not very fun, but if I get sent to Momos in the future I will definitaly need them, but for now I think I am doing alright. Thanks for the March Madness updates, and everything else, send more pics, I love those. Anyways, time to go, love you guys, talk to you next week.

Adam